My BFF, MamaTea, has got me thinking once again (OMG!). Go read her post here, and you'll see what I mean.
Back now? Good.
The gist of it, is that even though we think we're trotting down the road of life with our little perfect homeschooled children, learning exactly what they need in life (always in a totally non-threatening, naturalist, commune-like sort of way), sometimes those same perfect homeschooled teenagers (and young adults) don't always see the same gleaming picture of freedom-perfection that we do. In fact, sometimes they wish that we parents had exerted a bit more...discipline, shall we say, in the "deadlines, paper-writing, and group projects" departments of life.
Surprised? Good. Stay that way for a bit.
Oddly enough, I have a few things to say on the topic (I know, you're still surprised, right?). My first thoughts are: people will invariably find some fault with the way they were raised. Even those of us that had perfect childhoods (anybody? huh, it got quiet in here), know that there were moments less-than-stellar. Homeschooling will be no different. My kids, for example, hate "doing school"! I know, it's like the big open secret. But when they sit down to learn things, they end up engaged. Especially when they finally "get" something.
Another thought is that (I know, cynical me) when you poll teenagers, expect the unexpected. Expect them to answer you in ways that you never anticipated, and to point out things that you probably will cringe to hear. Now--that's not to say that these particular teenagers were being facetious--they were answering honestly and are probably pretty articulate and knowledgeable about what they are looking for in life. It's just that naturally they will point out hardships on the road to adult life. It was no different for me--and I was public schooled. Transitioning to college is extremely stressful and frustrating--fraught with all kinds of setbacks. It's something to keep in mind, anyhow.
But take everything at face value, our kids may rail at a bit of structure, but really, really need it in order to get by in life--that's an important thing to consider. It is worth it, to expose them to group work (easily done with friends, or in a co-op when they reach their middle-school years), it's a good idea to give them the opportunity to write papers and have deadlines for them. After all, mostly what's needed is exposure. I personally believe in math, reading, and writing each and every day. Chemistry, Piano, Dance, Ceramics? Those can come if the interest arises. I try not to worry about electives unless there is a strong interest. As my dear friend put it earlier today, "C-- really wants to learn gymnastics, but I wait on those things until he's asked me a lot. It's been 4 years of asking (not really), I should probably look into that."
So there's my $1.50. What are your thoughts?
3 comments:
Beautiful my dear. The reason I didn't write a super long long long post originally (which I really WANTED to write) was because I figured my brilliant blog readers could take what I'd written, think about it, and bring up themselves all the other points I was *going* to make. You've hit all the nails on their pretty little heads. :) I wish we would have had more time to talk about it in person too. Sounds like it would have been a great chat!
For parents it's sort of like the "Damned if you do, damned if you don't" syndrome.
Just recently my never traditionally schooled 10 year old informed me that she wished I had started out sending her to school instead of homeschooling her.
I guess the grass will always be greener on the other side.
luksky: That's actually kind of what I was driving at, albeit not as nicely and succinctly as you! :-) It's hard knowing, as parents, isn't it? I sometimes wonder if our more structured lifestyle is crushing their creativity--but then I smack my forehead and say, "Nah!" because I know my kids---any more creativity around here and we could open up our own insane asylum! LOL. I think it all depends on our children--Boo wanted to go to school for middle school, coming up here in a few years, and I said, "Sure!" That actually took her aback. She suddenly had the opportunity and 180'd back to "I like to homeschool, let's keep it that way." It the perception of missing out--once they find out that they could have it "on the other side of the fence"---ummmmm--where'd the fence go?!? Get that fence back up, please! At least it seems to work that way in my household.
Mamatea: I. Love. You. So. Very. Much!
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